Female bonding and their duets
Commemorating the International Women’s Day with female duets
Men may not be from Mars nor women from Venus, but there is a fundamental difference in the way the two genders bond with each other. In semi-urban settings at a party, the two genders automatically segregate, each forming their own group. We generally ascribe it to patriarchy. But at a recent get-together for three days at a resort with colleagues, including women colleagues and their spouses, we were at a dinner hosted by a local friend. As the number of guests increased, there was a need for some to move into another room to decongest. We didn’t realise there was anything unusual when men moved into another room until, after some time, the ladies led by some feisty colleagues trooped into the room slamming the gender segregation. Patriarchy surely does not explain this.
The same thing happened at a small lunch get-together of male colleagues from another affiliation. Here most of the spouses were homemakers, but we share easy friendship with all, having had vacations together a number of times. But in the small dining room the genders imperceptibly segregated, women taking one side of the table. One of the ladies asked us pointedly, ‘why have you guys kept us out of your WhatsApp group’? Patriarchy fails to explain this either.
Our co-bloggers, Anu and Madhu, writing on female duets long ago, observed that no sooner do you put two women together in our films than they start singing and dancing. I had then thought that this was their amusing style of describing the phenomenon of female duets. But I came across an article by the eminent sociologist, Dipankar Gupta from JNU, titled “Scenes From A Cocktail Party” in which he observes that this spontaneous gender segregation happens even in modern India’s cocktail circuit.
Is this an Indian thing? Gupta answers himself that it happens everywhere even today, in Europe and America too. He proceeds to give a great insight. If you only focus on the “segregation”, patriarchy may seem an attractive explanation, but once you focus on their “conversation”, you realise there is something more fundamental going on. “Women form a convivial chat group of their own where they talk about little joys and trials…Men can spend the entire evening without once asking about the health and welfare of those around them. Contrarily, when women interact with other women, there is a richness of details and a strong bonding intent.” Next time you are at a party be aware of the difference between the female ‘rapport’ talk and male ‘report’ talk.
We saw this rapport on display on the beaming faces of women cricket players who won the Asian Gold Medal at Zhangzhou. They enjoyed playing in the team, they enjoyed being in each other’s company; there were no rumours of dressing room bickerings.
Female duets have attracted the attention of bloggers for their verve and variety. Besides Anu and Madhu, Anup has carpet-bombed female duets. To be sure, there are also male duets trying to show great male bonding, but they are much less in number – perhaps bonding is a female thing. A couple of years ago I wrote a specific type of women songs titled, Songs of women for the women by the women. These were our traditional folk songs of sanskars, rituals and daily chores. These were entirely women’s domain, and I made some observation on the co-existence of lok and shaastra in our traditional sanskars and rituals. I had also mentioned that someday I may get around to writing a post on ‘filmy’ duets. Hans Jakhar had sent me a big list.
Now I am more educated and realise that Madhu and Anu were telling some fundamental truth in a light-hearted manner that a sociologist would describe in an academic language. Let us commemorate International Women’s Day with our female duets which describe their unique bonding. The Mangeshkar sisters so dominated the music scene that the music directors often chose one of them in the duet as a reflex action. IWD is all about balancing the asymmetry; intra-asymmetry also needs balancing. Hence I am choosing female duets without any of the Mangeshkars.
1. Chori chori aayi gori milne piya, dhadke jiya O ji rasiya by Mubarak Begum and Sulochana Chonkar from Harihar Bhakti (1956), lyrics SP Kalla, music K Datta
An unknown song but extremely melodious. A good duet showing female bonding.
2. Ghunghat hataye ke nazrein milaye ke balma se kah dungi baat by Sudha Malhotra and Mubarak Begum from Rangeen Raatein (1956), lyrics Kidar Sharma, music Roshan
Roshan does not disappoint even in never-heard songs. Rafi-Lata duet Bahut aasan hai chilman se lagkar muskura dena in the film was quite famous. But this female duet I had not heard before. It is a dance performance before villagers in the night. You can see three main dancers, but only two voices are covering them. Pure joy.
3. Albele sainya jhulna jhula ja re by Suraiya, Shamshad Begum & chorus from Maalik (1958), lyrics Shakeel Badayuni, music Ghulam Mohammad
Ghulam Mohammad has created so many gems in his career that I can’t attribute it all to Naushad’s mentorship. This is an excellent female duet.
4. Kaune rang mungawa kawan rang motiya by Sudha Malhotra and Suman Kalyanpur from Heera Moti (1959), lyrics Prem Dhawan, music Roshan
This duet has long been my favourite, it has appeared earlier on the blog. You see women enjoying themselves while doing daily chores with this song. Roshan was a master of folk.
5. Phulwa band mahke dekho lahke daali daali by Geeta Dutt and Suman Kalyanpur from Hum Bhi Insan Hain (1959), lyrics Shailendra, music Hemant Kumar
6. Garjat barsat saawan aayo re, layo na humre bichhade balamua by Suman Kalyanpur and Kamal Barot from Barsaat Ki Raat (1960), lyrics Sahir Ludhiyanavi, music Roshan
Roshan shows a deep connection between folk and classical. An excellent credit-title song in Raag Gaud Malhar. He had earlier composed this song solo in the voice of Lata Mageshkar in the film Malhar (1951). The following link gives both the songs, first the later duet followed by the old solo.
7. Shehnai dwar pe baaji re by Suman Kalyanpur and Madhubala Chawla from Bhagwan Balaji (1961), lyrics Saraswati Kumar ‘Deepak’, music P Nageshwar Rao
NT Rama Rao who later became the CM of Andhra Pradesh is the hero in this film. The song is about Balaji-Padmavati legend, but since there are two female singers there is joy and very nice female bonding.
8. Mohabat ka mara ghadi yun guzaare, kabhi is kinare kabhi us kinare by Suman Kalyanpur and Shamshad Begum from Jai Bhavani (1961), lyrics Gopal Singh ‘Nepali’, music S Mohinder
S Mohinder gave some great music in his career. This film has a superb Suman Kalyanpur solo – Jhoom ke piya ki gali, aaj main khushi se chali. This duet I heard for the first time and I enjoyed it a lot.
9. Dil gaya to gaya dilruba mil gaya by Suman Kalyanpur and Shamshad Begum from Shama (1961), lyrics Kaifi Azmi, music Ghulam Muhammad
This long duet in qawwali style is absolutely delightful. It has been my great favourite since long.
10. Kanha bhi kaale naina bhi kaale, kaale ko kaale se pyar ho gaya by Shamshad Begum and Suman Kalyanpur from Maya Jaal (1962), lyrics Qamar Jalalabadi, music SN Tripathi
Interesting explanation for the gopis’ love for Kanha, black eyes falling for dark-skinned Kanha.
11. Wafaon ka aalam mitne laga hai..Main to ho gayi re badnaam by Mubarak Begum and Kamal Barot from Sunehri Nagin (1963), lyrics Vedpal, music Kalyanji-Anandji
12. Na na na na na re, haath na lagana, tose baar baar kahun by Suman Kalyanpur and Minoo Purushottam from Taj Mahal (1963), lyrics Sahir Ludhiyanavi, music Roshan
I mentioned Roshan’s felicity with folk. Here is another gem, a joyous female duet as you can expect.
13. Mehfil mein aap aaye jaise ki chaand aya by Suman Kalyanpur and Mubarak Begum from Mohabbat Isko Kahte Hain (1965), lyrics Majrooh Sultanpuri, music Khayyam
Courtesan pair song. Shashi Kapoor with a friend are the patrons.
14. More sainya gulabiya ke phool hamaaro rang kesariya by Suman Kalyanpur and Minoo Purushottam from Nai Umar Ki Nai Fasal (1965), lyrics Niraj, music Roshan
Another great duet in joyous folk style by Roshan.
15. Neend ud jaaye teri chain se sonewale, ye dua maangate hain nain se ronewale by Krishna Bose, Mubarak Begum and Suman Kalyanpur from Juari (1968), lyrics Anand Bakshi, music Laxmikant Pyarelal
A rare song by three female singers, none of them a Mangeshkar sister. Picturised on Nanda, Tanuja and Naaz. You can take this song as an exception that proves the rule. There is no dance, and one of the women seems to be singing in a pensive mood.
16. Naache ang ve chhalke rang ve by Jagjit Kaur and Shamshad Begum from Heer Ranjha (1970), lyrics Kaifi Azmi, music Madan Mohan
Enjoy the original Punjabi wedding dance and song which has now become ubiquitous in Bollywood and, hence, in all of India.
I have curated the above female duets by excluding the Mangeshkar sisters to validate my point about female bonding. Generally these are about a joyous song and dance situation. Without this exclusion the song selection becomes very easy, you get dozens of superhit songs, but without them too, you have a large number of excellent duets. Are there any sad duets? There must be, but you would need to look with a microscope. Two or more females together form a convivial group.
Notes and Acknowledgements:
1. While at this, it deeply pains me when I see men from even upper middle class strata of society not being conscious of a woman’s sensitivities in their company. Whether unintentional or deliberate, men behaving in a mixed company in a manner that makes women uncomfortable is more common than we realise.
2. Gupta, Dipankar. “Scenes From A Cocktail Party.” The Times of India, 2 September 2023.
Disclaimer:
3. The song links have been given/embedded from the YouTube only for the listening pleasure of the music lovers. This blog has no commercial interest, and makes no claims about the copyright which vests with the respective owners.
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